The Uprising of the Backlogged

For too long we have let backlog be used as a dirty word. We've let it keep our kind confined to ghettos designed for those with too much disposable income. A word that sounds like a descriptor of a spinal shaped turd has held too much power for far too long.

But I say no more!

Embrace your backlogs, brothers and sisters! For if we place shame upon them, then our massive collections will fall victim to the same fate of the crab apple. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet? To hell with it! The tart and tangy taste of the crab apple has been forgotten all because of the smear campaigns of the Granny Smith family lineage. We cannot let this same fate fall upon the backlog.

What must we do first? Be proud of your unplayed. Do not besmirch them with titles like "pile of shame," or then it is you who are the truly shameful! I want you to walk over to that ever growing stack of possibly still in the shrink-wrap games and kiss it. Go on. I want you to come back wih your neck-beard reeking of that untouched disc smell.

You feel better, correct? Now, let us address those outside influences. The tpye of people who wish to make you feel badly about what you haven't gotten around to conquering. Do you know exactly why they feel this way? Because they still haven't escaped the "my Mom buys me one game a year for my birthday" mentality! I'm a grown adult with wants that have somehow become needs! If I don't buy my games day and date, there's a chance they may face a rapture of their very own! One where good games ascend to the gaming heavens and hang out with Gaming Jesus, and all we're stuck with now is used copies of Just Dance and Duke Nukem Forever. It's impossible for them to discontinue from blowing up your spot (at least until their Mom gets a job), but it doesn't mean you have to let it affect you. Next time that bully mocks you, tell him that while he didn't enjoy Army of Two in 2008, doesn't mean that 2011 isn't it's time to shine. Now that you can get around to it, that three year divide is long enough that fist-bumps can truly be appreciated.

Why must we stand trial for our backlogs? Beats me. There are far worse crimes than buying games knowing that it'll be years before you'll actually get around to playing it. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll finally be able to dig into Metal Arms well into my retirement. Think of your backlog as your shrine to gaming's past. A museum of sorts. Instead of behaving like a spoiled brat and tearing that collection a new butthole, you want to slowly take your time and really feel how game's have evolved.

Embrace your log, kids.