Wallet Abuse Weekly Derides Norse Culture

So as you’ve probably gathered by now, Spring is kinda horrible for videogame releases. Last week we were treated to jack zilch in the way of retail releases and this week’s lone game is well

a freaking comic book movie tie-in. The Game of the Movie of the Comic. And not one of the good ones either, this is hails from Sega’s fine stable of boring western development houses, the same lineage that brought you The Incredible Hulk: The Comic: The Movie: The Game and Iron Man: The Comic: The Movie: The Game and somehow managed to turn basic concepts such as “giant unstoppable green roid rage dude” and “guy flying around in a robot laser suit” and turned them into untenable videogame experiences.

 

Thor: The Comic: The Movie: The Game continues this fine tradition by taking the concept of “Devil May Cry, but with a Fucking Big Hammer” and turning it into an clunky, unenjoyable experience. Which leads us to the following questions:

1: Why is it so difficult for Sega to create a good character action (read: Devil May Cry Clone) game? The two Shinobi games were passable at best; whereas Golden Axe was an abomination set before humanity as a lesson from above to serve as an example of man’s folly. This should be the sort of thing Sega’s in-house studios should be good at, provided they weren’t busy making people hate Sonic instead and:

2: How long before Marvel realizes that the one decent Marvel Studios videogame was Wolverine: Origins and had nothing to do with Sega? Comic book videogames should be easy, they’re fucking comic books for fuck’s sake. Rocksteady proved with Arkham Asylum that the upper limit for comic book games is far and above anything Marvel licenses have even attempted to achieve-- Why is Marvel happy to let Iron Man, Thor and Hulk lay fallow with cash-in movie tie-ins?

Anyway, the DS Thor might actually be worth taking a look at-- it’s by WayForward, and when they’re not paying the bills with Spongebob games they produce Shantae and Contra 4. WayForward likes to describe Thor as “Contra with hammers” or somesuch and the spritework is marvelous:

So it stands to reason this is one of the games WayForward wasn’t ashamed of producing. Unlike say, Ping Pals.

Anyway, since I’ve already said enough about Thor, here’s the MK9 Totally Not A Review I promised last week but failed to deliver on because I was...well. Playing MK9.